Dear Tim Gunn and Nina Garcia,
We were so glad to see you on the red carpet last night. Everything is more gracious, under control, and generally better when you're around, we think.
p.s. Did you get to pick who visited you on the red carpet for an interview? We think you did. Because there is no way either one of you could have disguised your distaste for a few of those get-ups we saw. (Meryl Streep, we're looking at YOU.)
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Dear Jonah Hill,
Up until about a week ago, my opinion of your live-acting wasn't really all that great (but nice job on the animated stuff!). But then I saw Moneyball last weekend and I was more than pleasantly surprised by how good you were—how 'bout a lot more of that, please? Oh, and I'm a Billy Crystal fan for the most part, but if I was there last night I would have looked the other way if you had decided to stick your foot out and trip him for his snide little remark about cupcakes. Just saying.
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Dear Actors and Actresses who Talked About Their Childhood Memories of Going To the Movies,
Thanks a lot for making me all weepy about how much I love movies, too. My children already think I'm crazy-crying-at-weird-times-lady, and you didn't really help me out on that count.
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Dear Octavia Spencer,
You too. See above.
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Dear Viola Davis,
I'm sorry you didn't win. I was rooting for you.
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Dear Brad Pitt,
I feel as if I've earned the right to comment on your general appearance, having assessed it closely over the course of the last 20+ years... unless you are preparing for the most amazing role in the universe, please get your hair cut. Thank you.
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Dear Gary Oldman,
I completely and totally missed that you were Sirius Black. Well played sir, well played.
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Dear Julia Roberts,
I didn't actually see you at the Oscars (were you there?) but I did see you on a trailer for Mirror, Mirror during one of the commercial breaks. And so did the three small girls I live with. And we are all VERY EXCITED.
Oh, how I love the movies.
