I lost my words these past few months. It isn't that there haven't been stories to tell, but for many reasons both serious and ridiculous, I haven't been telling them.
And I miss it.
Blogs are dead, people say. Maybe so.
Matt tells me to just tell a story, any story—in the tradition of the old days of Simple, it doesn't matter where it lands on the timeline. Chronology is for other people, right?
So. In an attempt to find my words... at least a few of them... here is a random PSA. The closer you live to Hatch, NM or Pueblo, CO, the more useful it is. But it's still worth remembering no matter where you are.
A few months ago I was hurriedly making dinner in the 45 minutes between Bee gym pickup and M & G gym pickup—I don't remember what I was making, but it had green chiles in it. I was chopping them up, being very careful not to slice my fingers off in our poorly lit Albuquerque kitchen. Bee was starting homework, Matt wasn't home from work yet. And then somehow MY EYE CAUGHT FIRE. Like, I was immediately blinded, shrieking in pain, waggling a knife around trying to find the counter. I know through an unfortunate experience with Slap Ya Mama in Louisiana that pepper residue in one's eyeball is painful, but this? This was 8000 times worse. Maybe even 27,000 times worse. All I could think was "but I always buy mild peppers!!!" (which, by the way, was completely irrelevant since by that point I'm pretty sure both my eyes had caught fire).
Bridget was properly freaked out, especially since chile pepper oil is invisible.
And just at that moment, Matt walked in about 7:35 pm from a long day at work and an hour commute to discover me writhing around trying to put water in my eyes without actually touching them.
Sometimes it pays (ok, usually) to be married to the Sunbeam of Knowledge, or at least someone who is good at googling things fast. He went to work and found that milk! Milk in my eyes would cure me. He grabbed the milk and a dish towel and tried to make me a milk compress. I grabbed the milk and just poured it on my face. And because of the miracle of science, my eyes stopped being on fire. JUST LIKE THAT. Like, instantaneous relief. You know how when you stub your toe you feel it for an hour after the initial pain? None of that. Just, fixed. I would tell you to try it out, but I think that would fall into the category of a Very Bad Idea. I was shaky in general from the whole hoopla, but my eyes were fine. I went to get the girls and marveled at my non-fiery sight the entire way.
It's possible that everyone in the world knows that pouring milk on one's face will cure pepper-related disasters, but just in case you didn't know... now you do.