Dear Lauryn Hill,
It is time for you to come out with a new CD. That baby of yours, Zion, must be at least 7 years old now, so I know you have a little time on your hands. Thank you.
Dear Will Smith,
Thanks for getting me back on the elliptical. There's just nothing like a song by you to get me motivated to move around.
Dear Mary Berner,
I bought your new magazine, Cookie, even though I said I wouldn't. I couldn't help it, as I happened to notice you included the They Might Be Giants concert I attended this past summer in an article— plus I had a morbid curiosity about it. But guess what? I found a glaring grammatical error in the premiere issue. And I'm not telling you where it is.
Dear Tom Cavanaugh,
I'm so excited for your new show, as is my pal Kristina. We miss you in Ed. I don't know what this new show is about, exactly, but I'm willing to give it a try just because you're in it. Please don't disappoint me.
I don't really like you that much anymore. I think you're a sore loser. I'm rooting for Chloë now.
Dear Steve Jobs,
I've hardly touched an actual CD since we welcomed our 60 gb iPod into the family. Just thought you should know.