Ways to measure the heat without actually looking at the temperature:
1. It's so hot that a severe weather advisory was issued yesterday, and will last until tonight. I was trying to explain that the heat index is kind of the opposite of wind chill, but the girls were so hot they were unable to concentrate on the words coming out of my mouth, and were sort of staring off into space with dazed looks on their faces.
2. It's so hot that I was reminded today of the Ohio State vs. Oregon football game in 1987 when my mother spent about $350 on giant Sprites for the four of us to drink, one right after another (my dad was marching that day in the alumni band). If you know my mother, you know this was wildly out of character for her. Just as it is normally out of character for me to buy my children Icees/slushies while out in public. Which I have done 3-4 times in the last week or so.
3. It's so hot that the whole hot-hungry-tired Dillow meltdown formula is all messed up. Usually you have to meet all three conditions for a guaranteed meltdown. Now it's like a big crapshoot. Do you want to drag these children all over northwest Louisiana in a continued search for ruled index cards, manila paper, and belts? Because I might be done.
4. It's so hot that school starts next week, August 8. Before we moved, I joked about my personal theory that it must be so hot that everyone just gives up and goes back to school.
I know, I know, we need to buck up, buttercup. Except I think all the buttercups might be wilted, too.
ETA: Ha ha ha ha, clearly we aren't cut out for extreme heat. It's been an issue before, I had forgotten.